Have you ever wanted to add “Ran ultramarathon while naked” to your resume? I did. So in 2022 I took two of my passions, Burning Man and Ultrarunning, and squished them into the the same dusty week.
To understand what makes the Burning Man 50k interesting, it is helpful to understand why Burning Man is interesting (or perhaps too interesting, depending on who you ask).
Burning Man's magic lies in its participant-driven ethos. Unlike other events, it's not scripted by an organization but sculpted by the collective creativity of attendees. I like to think of it as a potluck of experiences. Every participant provides something at Burning Man that they think others might appreciate. When they do, something awesome seems to happen around every corner of Black Rock City. Burning Man has a completely unique culture defined by ten principles, that when adopted by participants, create a magical, sometimes whimsical, anarchistic utopia (or lawless, dystopian hellscape depending on your worldview) where a lifetime of amazing experiences is available, and none of it is for sale.
The Burning Man 50k is just one of those experiences, gifted each year to the citizens of Black Rock City by the amazing volunteers at Camp Pink Lightning.
I have attended Burning Man since 2013 and for the first time, I found myself at Burning Man, setting an alarm clock. I got 5 hours of restless sleep before that demon machine woke me from my slumber. I put on my running shoes, took off my underpants, and put on my favorite white tutu. My intention was to run naked, but it was, after all, Tutu Tuesday at Black Rock City, and it would be weird not to wear a tutu on Tutu Tuesday. I threw some water bottles in the chariot that I pulled behind my bike and headed to the start.
I was surprised to find a field of nearly 300 runners at the start, most got up early, but some were still up late. The volunteers got everyone situated with numbers and sent us out on our dusty adventure.
The route is roughly four laps around Black Rock City. With each lap, going down the most popular streets in town, then out to the desolate deep playa - a completely barren desert landscape spotted intermittently with mind-blowing art, dance parties, aid stations, and if you are as lucky as I was, the occasional birthday cake.
There are a few aid stations along the course provided by Pink Lightning and a few impromptu aid stations that pop-up provided by other random Burning Man camps. Some provide coconut water, some provide mimosas, tequila, harsh criticism, or a sweet ramp so you can throw in a 360 and be judged on its quality by a handful of fans. One camp all donned reflective safety vests and used cones and flaggers holding stop signs to detour runners into an area where the pit crew would buff your tired sore muscles with various power tools, spritz you down with cold water, give you a nice cool ‘blow job’ with a leaf blower, then, with your consent, give you a slap on the ass and send you on your way.
The course is flat and the weather is fickle. Once the sun comes up it is blazing hot, unless you get some wind. If you get wind, of course, the dust will block out the sun and make it almost impossible to navigate, so goggles and a dust mask are highly recommended.
As a pretty serious ultra-runner, I imagined myself able to hit up the occasional dance party and still be able to jog this one in for the win. Needless to say, I greatly underestimated the level of talent that showed up to compete. The flatness of the course allowed serious runners an opportunity to chase a personal Best. But at Burning Man, chasing a personal best might mean passing up on the opportunity to watch the sunrise while bouncing on a trampoline. In the end, intermittent dance parties and hamstring cramps kept me off my 4:20 goal pace, but I still ran a solid 4:21 for a 9th-place finish overall.
So should you go to Burning Man to run the Burning Man 50k? No! you should go to Burning Man because you have something awesome to contribute to Black Rock City. If you are there, and self-inflicted suffering is your kink, then you should also run the Burning Man 50k. Should you run a naked ultramarathon? Well, let's just say, employers have not been impressed - yet.